Last week as a continuation of the ReVamp Project I was invited to Annie Burnside’s home to take part in a mini-workshop on parenting and creating deeper connections with our families. I wasn’t sure what to expect but as soon as the session started I felt like I was exactly where I should be.
Since having my son I have been constantly aware of what lessons I’m teaching him just by how I’m living my life. Laughing off spilled milk? Good. Watching me drink my 3rd Diet Dr Pepper of the day? Bad!
Annie Burnside is the author of Soul to Soul Parenting. During the mini-workshop she focused on how we as moms live our lives and what that means to our kids. The evening was less about traditional parenting and more about following our dreams. When we give ourselves permission to live freely, to give up “shoulds” and instead take on “wants”, we teach our kids to live freely. We give them permission to be their truest self when they watch us be our truest selves.
It’s something I aspire to, but definitely a hard lesson for me to follow. I have a list a mile long of “shoulds”. Now some “shoulds” you have to do. Obviously I SHOULD go to the grocery store, because my family needs to eat. But do I have to have a perfectly clean house every second of every day? Will the world end if I don’t pursue that friendship with the person who leaves me feeling stressed out and emotionally tired?
As women we often feel the need to do and be everything to everyone. But until we are being that for ourselves we can’t offer it to anyone else. It doesn’t mean being selfish; it just means being true to yourself. And in turn, true to your family.
I am a perfectionist so I have this running inner monologue of “when the house is perfectly cleaned, the laundry is all done, every email is answered, every blog post written, THEN I will work on and perfect myself.” What Annie Burnside reminded me was that there is no finish line! Changing yourself and your way of looking at the world is an ongoing process.
So I’m going to start now. I’m going to read a little bit of Annie’s book everyday. I’m going to put some of her exercises into practice with my husband and child. And I’m going to give myself a break.
Okay, I’m going to TRY to give myself a break.
Hey, it’s an ongoing process, right?
I received a copy of Annie’s book and her workshop experience for free as a part of the ReVamp project.